Porkchop

We heard you like camp. So we put some camp in your camp so you can camp while you camp. That's the level we are on here. Porkchop is a pretty decent little flick. Its got all the staples for a slasher. Blood, gore, iconic killer, boobies. All there. But it takes the camp a little to far. Its funny, its cheesy, but it relies way to much on this. It has a few genuine horror moments, but most of it is just jokes. But once again, its still pretty good, nice and entertaining.

Porkchop was a man created from tragedy. His father was a prized pig farmer. They raised some of the biggest pigs around. The boy had a favorite pig, but one day, that pigs day to die had come. The farmer gutted the pig right in front of the boy. The farmer saw that the boy was upset about it, so the farmer threw the child into a room full of pig carcasses. He locks him in their for months, every day sliding him some bacon or pork under the door, pork made from his favorite pig. The boy refused to eat it, instead eating mice and bugs he found on the dirt floor. One day, his dad slipped. He forgot to lock the door. That night the boy slipped into the farmers room and with the same knife the farmer used to gut his favorite pig, slit the farmer from head to belly. He butchered his father into cuts of pork and ate him. His mother found the same fate as well.

Now he roams the woods, and our crazy group of kids is out there partying, drinking, and fucking. We have the troubled couple, the punk rock limey, the super nerd younger brother, his asshole robot, the tough chick, and the young ditsy cheerleader. They are all so different and they all die in pretty different ways. The banter between the limey and the nerd is great. So is the robots competition with the nerd in trying to get into the pants of the tough girl. The robot revealing horrible secrets about the nerd.

They were warned not to go into the cabins at Camp Wood, but in a drunken stupor, the limey wanders into one and passes out. This brings down the wrath of Porkchop. Tent spikes to hands followed by heads being smashed with croquet mallets. Horseshoes jammed into skulls. Lawn darts to the achilles, cheek, and head. The cheerleader gets a special kill, fucked by a chainsaw.

The deaths are fun, the characters are colorful, but the scary doesn't happen often enough. I would watch it again any day, especially in a slasher marathon. I'm hoping that the sequel, Porkchops, takes itself just a tad more seriously.