Nekromantik

 

Here it is! Nekromantik. The famous and infamous. Ill admit my copy, though well done, is a bootleg. Its got a nice cover, case, and the disk itself has the design on top, but the bottom has the distinct lavender hue of a DVD-R. But I paid ten dollars for my copy. So besides collecting purposes would it be worth the seventy dollars to get a legitimate copy?



No. That's the short version. But yes! Yes buy it for ten dollars. The movie itself is good and entertaining, but its not seventy dollars entertaining. Buying a movie for so much solely because its out of print would be ridiculous. I'm all for collecting, but I could never justify that. So if you have the chance to  buy it for cheap, be it real or bootleg, get it. Now for the actual movie...

Nekromantik follows the sexual exploits of a young couple with their new lover, a lovely corpse recovered from a pond. You see, Robert is a member of a Street Cleaning Agency. These are the people that get to pick up the aftermath of car accidents. He gets by from day to day, taking home an odd bit of human every night. An eye here, a heart there. Pieces that he collects and keeps on display in mason jars on shelves. Robert, the lucky man he is, has a girlfriend named Betty who also gets off on death, decay, dismemberment, and blood. She enjoys his collection and they enjoy each other along side some guts and gore.

Robert hits the mother load one day. You see, he is the newest member of the crew. The rookie. He's generally only given the shit jobs and hardly ever gets any duties of importance. But one day they retrieve an pretty badly decomposed body from a pond. Its towards the end of the shift so everyone is eager to get home, they decide to give the job of getting the body to the morgue to Robert. He's ecstatic, his greatest trophy, his piece de resistance! He takes the body, throws it in his trunk and takes it home to surprise Betty.

Let me say, metal rod + corpse + condom = happy Betty. She grinds and rides the decaying, putrefying body in orgasmic pleasure as Robert caresses, grabs, and licks the body, culminating in him delicately sucking the remaining eye from its socket, rolling it around in his mouth with lustful pleasure and sliding it back into the socket delicately.

Things take a turn for the worst when Robert gets fired for odd behavior and just generally doing a shit job. This doesn't go well at home. Betty berates him, cutting him down, calling him a coward, telling him he's worthless. She makes it seem ok but in the morning, she is no where to be found. And neither is their new friend. Robert finds a note from her, she tells him hes a loser and that now she has no way of obtaining any new "friends", that she is leaving him. This sends Robert into a hallucinatory depression. He pops pills, drinks and dreams of being dead, his body playing in a field with a woman, they play. He wakes.

Finding a prostitute, he pays her to fuck in the cemetery. They lie down on a grave and attempt to do the business, but he can't get it up. Shes not dead. She moves. Shes no good to him. She laughs at his little problem, but this sends him into a rage, he chokes the life out of her, and now with her fresh corpse, he can get it up and get it off.

An undertaker finds them in the morning, Robert lying there with her body. Stunned, the undertaker drops his shovel and soon meets his fate as Robert severs the top of his head with one quick swipe of the shovel. He makes his way home and the grand finale happens.

I have always heard that this part was crazy. Now was it? Not so much. It was alright, but not nearly as crazy as it could have been. But all in all, Nekromantik is worth a go. Its got that Buttgereit surrealism going on in it which definitely makes it entertaining. Though I would say its not nearly as messed up as it could be, I guess it would be horrid if you were really sensitive to necrophilia and murder and animal abuse.... Errr.... Anyway, check it out if you feel like saying WTF a few times.